“Does a rocker ever do that?”
It was always a joke, but actually that question keeps haunting me everytime I do something that I’m not sure if it’s really myself. My sister does not know how much she influences and inspires me!
There is a quote like this
and my sister is one of those people!
We’ve been growing up together. We were each other’s closest friend when we were both small. I still remember those times when we were locked in the house for the whole day while mum and dad went to work. Playing with her was fun, and I still recall how much I enjoyed those little silly games we had. We built “house” by sofa mattresses, or “lived” in the wardrobe, or under desk. We made a huge amount of bubbles by taking nearly the whole mum’s washing liquid bottle. We imitated those games in magazine. We were prince and princess. We were super models. We were mum and dad. Just everything we could think of. Still can’t understand why we did not get bored at all. And because mum was not at home, she had to spoon-fed me every lunch time (I was still spoon-fed by mum sometimes until 5th grade, this is a secret ). That was when we played “Cat and Mouse”. She closed her eyes and raised up the spoon, pretending that she did not know anything. And from a corner, I would quickly ran to eat it up, then hid myself again, giggling all the way, thinking that I was a really smart mouse .
We came to the same primary school, she was in Year 4 when I started. School was a shock to me. All those strangers and rules made me scared. On that day I sneaked out of class, went to her classroom and waited outside for her to finish to go home with me. I lied that my class finished early that day, but then she still found out, and brought me back to my teacher. God, I was scared to death, and that was such a shame. But either the teacher or my sister yelled a word. And to my most surprise, noone ever talked about it again.
However like all sisters in the world, we fight. The only difference is we fight more than any other sisters in the world. There were times when I really “hated” her. I wished I had been the only child, then noone would’ve interfered in my business, mum and dad would’ve loved me like their treasure insteading of treating me unfairly like (I thought) they did. Now recalling I really can’t remember specifically why we fought, just know that it happened almost everyday, some lasted few hours, some lasted for days. She rarely, hardly, scarecely ever gives me a compliment of what I do, whatever it is. She always finds something negative and just focuses on it like it is the only thing. Sometimes I’m really confused if it is actually that bad, or I can just assume all the good comments by myself.
That put a lot of pressure on me sometimes. Whatever I do I always think about what she would say. She was always the best amongst us cousins and sisters. She had things that I tried very hard but could not reach. Mum always compared me to her (or I felt like she was doing so), that made me feel so bad about myself, like I was the stupid one and could never get better. My highschool time was hell, cos I already hated that school in the first place, all because I hated myself for failing to get to schools like hers.
We are both Geminis, the sign of the twins, which explains why under the same sign but we are so much different. But I know deep down we both have same weaknesses. I know she felt the same with me when getting into difficult situations. She is sometimes the one understanding me the most, yes, without saying anything. And this I can be sure, she is my best travelling partner . Now we are moving into different paths, we are not two little girls playing princess game anymore. Life is funny, but full of surprises also… Oh look like this is starting to get very cheesy. I’m not gonna say I love her (No, no, I’m not ), but I just wanna say that however stupid I am, however frustrating she will be, we are still sisters. Want it or not, we still have each other to talk non-sense, to bad-mouth about other people, or to fight, for the rest of our lives!