Yes, the problem is that at the moment I find no interest in studying.
My marks are just over Credit, and I don’t even feel very bad about it (which makes this a serious problem), as when I look around, still see lots of people got lower than mine. I admit that some units I’m taking are hard: Finance: average marks are actually low and the majority of students last term failed this unit; Statistics: quite the same; Mass Communication: it is an unwritten rule that you do not expect high marks in Media units, because teachers think what matters is you know something, not high results, so they grade you very strictly, just as long as you pass (when you deserve it, of course); Macro-economics: hard like hell!!!
But all of them are just excuses. I myself know best that I can still try a lot more than this, and my results could be much better. The thing is, I find no point of doing that!
Whenever I have time, I will read or do something creativity. Actually I have read a lot recently (don’t ask what stuff, cos it ranges over every type – just not textbooks) and also had some unfinished works of “art” (ahhh, don’t laugh ). Or sometimes I spend time just thinking about where I will go when I come home, that kind of thought is really pleasant actually . Anyway, I mean those things come first, when I have nothing like that to do, then I’ll study. So you see, I don’t spend as much time on studying or take it as serious as before. The reason is, I find no motivation of doing so. What is the purpose of getting merely high marks? As I am doing media, I already know there’s no chance of staying in the top of the School or any thing like that, so, what’s the point? What I learn after walking out of classroom is important, not what I get on my papers, right?. So I don’t like people judging me by just academic results.
No, I think those are still excuses. Maybe I should face the simple fact that I’m just being damn lazy. Or do you want more excuses? So here you go: Because I am a free mind, a free soul, I can’t commit myself on something too long. I’m easy to get bored. I don’t want to waste my time too much on academic things, because after you graduate, what matters is just you pass or not, no one cares about if it was Credit or High Distinction.
So that is it. I find no motivation to try my best. I just can do well if I have someone to compete with, but no one like that around now (Everyone goes: “Oh Pass is good enough, I just need to pass. You even got Credit, that’s great” ) This is striking me terribly, cos I feel like I’m not the person I was before. I feel kinda lost. Is there any cure?