Master of LDR

Ill hold you in my heart til I can hold you in my arms

If I deserve a Master’s degree in something, it must be a Master in Long Distance Relationship.

I don’t know why this LDR thing keeps sticking with me, sticking with us. We were in a LDR for two years, and there wasn’t a single day I did not wake up and wish we could be in the same timezone. I look back at those days with a terrifying feeling. Those were days when physically I lived in a 6-square-metre room, but emotionally my world was confined in a 14-inch screen. In all our conversations we talked about the day when this distance thing would end, when we would not have to adjust time difference every time talking to each other, not have to carefully consider our phone bills, not have to die a little inside when seeing other couples happy together, not have to risk our mental health on that damn Internet connection, and not have to bear the heartbreak at the end of my every vacation at home. I remember all our fights at the time were online, maybe because non-face to face conversations create misunderstandings, but maybe because when we could be together, we so treasured the moment that we knew better than arguing.

From GMT+8 back to GMT+2, two years seemed like forever for someone having a significant other at GMT+7. But somehow I did it. We did it. We were so happy when it was over that although neither of us said it out loud, I know we promised not to stay apart again, at least in the near future.

But like every other thing in life, it always seems to happen to those want it least. This time it’s even my “fault”. I let him go. As much as I fear LDR, I’m also a firm believer in taking chances. I totally agree with Mark Twain that in the future, we will regret more about what we did not do than what we did. I believe I’m doing the best for him, and that helps comforting me a little bit.

I always know it sucks being the one who stays. I have always been the one who flies away, with exciting adventures awaiting. Now, no more discoveries for me. My world stays the same, but worse because it’s lacking something significant, and every other thing reminds me of that.

But life goes on and you have to do what you have to do. It’s not like there isn’t any perks of being in a distance relationship. First you have time for all other things that you have been putting off simply because spending time with your loved one was valued more. For me that can be writing, finishing the books that I haven’t read, spending more quality time with family, and progressing on my personal plan. It will take some adjusting to do, but I know I’ll be better off for it. Second, LDR is undeniably the fastest way to put any relationship, especially aging ones, back to honeymoon phase. A bouquet sent all the way to the other person’s door, a card for any occasion, an unexpected visit, we have been to all of them, plus cheesy romantic words of course, but I sure don’t mind having them again.

Good luck to all other couples being in an LDR.


Well, this is not so much of an uplifting video, but err… it’s relevant.

And beautifully touching too.

Update September 2013: For some reason we are now in different timezones again. This time it was me who went away from him. Things slipped out of our original plan, one thing led to another, and before we knew it, we are apart again, for an unknown period of time… Well, what can I say, maybe it’s just the way it has to be for us. 

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